Thursday, February 17, 2011

Why the gym is bad for your health

Ok so you know that the Girl Scouts have delivered my cookies by the truckload, and I in turn keep eating them, so I decided that I have to kick up my gym attendance. I Zumba like nobody's business but decided to do a "regular" class this morning. It was called "Fusion" and it said that it was 20 minutes of cardio, 20 minutes of weight training, and 20 minutes of floor work. OK sign me up.
You know how when you enter a class for the first time and everyone has all of the paraphernalia strewn all about....ropes and pulleys, mats, some round disk things, weights, top-secret gadgety things.....I was trying to get all of this together without looking like a total moron.....let me interject by saying that I work out at a rec center during daylight hours so everyone there is in their mid 60's...moving on....
So the teacher comes in and says, "ok everyone hit the track!"....track? whaaat is that the cardio? I was thinking more along the lines of some great dance moves and techno music NOT running around a boring track....well here is where the story gets way LESS boring....
So we are doing these side-galloping sort of things and two members of the class tripped over each other and all h-e-double fishsticks breaks lose... so this lady in her mid 60's hits the ground HARD and so everyone stops and tries to figure out what to do...meanwhile she is yelling AAAAARRRRRRRGGHHHHH! and her husband says, "oh she's fine...." thanks sir, she looks fine.....(about yelling in public...I would rather poke my eyes out with a stick......even during labor......) so now I'm all nervous for her, because of the yelling part....our teacher is barking orders....get the management, call 9-1-1, her husband says "oh no she's fiiiiine.."
Then the teacher says everyone just do 2 laps and meet me in the class. So even though I think its a little weird that I'm running laps while a grandma is yelling ...'MY HIIIIIP!" I just get a runnin'. We go back to class, the teacher meets us there and starts saying, "ok now grab some weights, we're doing arms." Arms? What? I'm now too chicken to walk out because of all of the paraphernalia I unloaded around my I just start pumping iron with the rest of the sheep.....then my teacher starts to cry...booohooo-sobbing-snotty her Janet Jackson second to screaming in public, my number two fear is crying in I'm all sweaty and nervous for her and I am barely squelching the urge to make a run for it she runs out of the class sobbing but you can still hear her over the speakers because she didn't turn of her headset! I'm all good and sweaty just from the scene of it all! So this girl in the class decides to step forward and take over and says, "ok now let's do dead lifts" and proceeds to keep lifting...Whaaaaaa? Seriously? Am I being punked? I took that as my opportunity to get the heck out of dodge.

It's official...I'm sticking to Zumba from now on. It's better for my mental health.

*I think the lady is fine....well according to her very sympathetic husband anyway.


  1. Funny story. I'd been mortified too.

  2. You are so funny! That is too much drama for this mama! My goodness, I'm sticking to my treadmill! See ya bright and early tommorow for some G-dub fun!

  3. that is hilarious! yeah - i'm with you on those classes. way too complicated. give me a pair of running shoes and an open road and i'm happy. zumba...i've been hearing rave review. hmm..think i need to try this maybe. happy friday!

  4. i was laughing out loud at your post! especially since i just joined a gym this week--too funny! i want to try zumba soon.

  5. DeeAnna,

    I didn't stop laughing out loud - too bad no one was home to enjoy it! You are toooooo damn funny - but that's why I love ya girl! I was able to picture every moment of that experience in my tiny vivid imagination!

    Thanks for the laugh - as you know, I needed it today!

    Love ya, girl!


  6. Just happened upon your blog...was rolling at hugging the Rabbi (didn't know that either), figured out wiww means, and now laughing at this fiasco!!!

    Off to